Why Alli Has Cancer—Theory Two: Her Dog
Look. Something goes wrong, blame the dog, right? This is my theory: my dog gave me cancer. Two cancers. Absurd! Here’s the thing about this sweet-looking old man: he spent…
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The Archive
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Diagnosis / Treatment Update: Chemo Week Two (Win Some, Lose Some)
Greetings from another week of chemo ass-kicking. This time, we got the nausea under control. Incredible win. (It only took 10 billion meds—by which I mean four different kinds of…
Things That Are Weird: Part Five
Taking an unbelievable amount of prescription meds when you used to barely take Ibuprofen or cold meds in the Beforetimes. Your mom asking which chemo side effect you’re most afraid…
Nutrition, We Have a Problem
It’s 3:45am. I’ve been lying in bed, wide awake, for 30 minutes. All I can think about is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I cannot tell you the last…
FAQ: What Are You Working on in Physical Therapy?
TL;DR (because I love bodies and this post is going to get a little long and a little nerdy) Here’s what I’m working on in PT: Preventing frozen shoulder and…
Why Alli Has Cancer – Theory One: Bad Luck
“But you’re so young! Why you have a cancer problem?!” my nurse Kyoung asked as she hooked my port up to that day’s iron infusion. “I don’t know, Kyoung,” I…
Diagnosis / Treatment Update: Chemo Week One (Everyone Has a Plan)
I wasn’t sure how to start this one—until my brother reminded me of the classic Mike Tyson quote: Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face. And…
Things That Are Weird: Part Four
Going into a grocery store two days after you get your port placed – and for the first time since before your surgery – and thinking that absolutely everyone can…
My Unlikely Friend
My best friend asked me if I remembered coming out of anesthesia for my breast surgery. I do. I remember the nurses talking about travel. I started to cry. I…
FAQ: What Side Effects Do You Expect From Chemo? (Or: Let’s Talk About Drugs, Baby.)
A week and a half before my chemo began, I had a 90-minute one-on-one teaching session with a nurse practitioner named Jen from my colorectal oncologist’s office. First of all:…
Beforetimes: Job Interviews
My friend Micah was in town and came over last night. We were catching up on many things, including how f’ing hard it’s been to get a job in this…
Diagnosis / Treatment Update: March 8
TL;DR My rectal cancer symptoms increased significantly and are the worst they’ve ever been. I was able to get in to see my colorectal oncologist (Dr. C) this week for…
Things That Are Weird: Part Three
Opening your budget tracking sheet for the first time in six weeks and seeing a tab that says “DCIS Expenses” and it having a pretty short list of items, considering.…
Diagnosis / Treatment Update: March 1, 2026
This is my first one of these posts, so I’m going to backtrack a bit before circling back to the news I got last week. BEFORE LAST WEEK Breast Cancer…
FAQ: What Were Your Symptoms? or, How I Might Have Saved My Own Life
What were your symptoms? Breast Cancer None. The two areas of DCIS were discovered on a routine mammogram. The IDC was discovered on a standard-issue MRI I got post-diagnosis. Rectal…
boots on broadway
February 23, 2026 Fourteen days post-op — boots on broadway If you had told me one week ago that I would feel like this— energized, up early, making my own…
FAQ: Insurance
Do you have insurance? Are you on your ex-husband’s insurance? Yes, I have insurance. No, I’m not on my ex-husband’s insurance. When our divorce was finalized I had to secure…
Things That Are Weird: Part Two
My mom saying she doesn’t like to microwave things in plastic and me thinking, me too, but what the fuck does it matter because I got cancer anyway. I used…
FAQ: What surgery did you have? How many will you have?
What surgery did you have? On February 9, 2026 I had a single mastectomy on the left side and a mastopexy (lift) on the right side. Click here to read…
Things That Are Weird: Part One
Do I renew my yoga teaching insurance for the year? Will I teach this year? Looking at emails from before surgery. People moving to different states. Lives are moving forward? …
Post-Op Hell
Week One: Post-Op Hell I thought this would be the easy part. This is the part I thought I knew. Even though I’ve never done this before–never had surgery, or…
