I am officially done with my first set of chemo and, all things considered, I think it went well.

Or… as well as chemo can go?

As in: I survived it. Literally.

I’m still dealing with some lingering side effects—a weird numb-but-not-numb sensation in my lips and tip of tongue, hair thinning, my nose running when I eat (weird), fatigue, and we’ll see if anything else pops up—but overall I “tolerated treatment well,” as my oncologist would say. 

So, anyway: it’s over (thank God), which:
a) deserves celebration because it’s a huge win, and
b) means it’s time to move onto the next block.

OK, and because I’m not particularly good at celebrating wins (my best friend, Unlikely Friend, and therapist are all on me about this), let’s just move directly to b). I promise I’ll work on a).

Alright. In case you haven’t picked up on it yet, this dual-cancer thing is basically an ultra-marathon.

Not that I would voluntarily choose to run an ultra-marathon. Or have two cancers. But you get the idea.

Honestly, the main way I’ve survived this so far is one day at a time. I genuinely cannot look too far ahead or my nervous system starts to freak out.

At the same time, I have to look ahead enough to have something to move toward. (My therapist is also on me about this.)

So in addition to taking things one day at a time, I’ve mentally broken this whole experience into blocks:

1. Mastectomy
2. Chemo part one
3. Breast surgery two
4. Rectal cancer surgery
5. Chemo part two
6. Breast cancer immunotherapy
7. Surveillance for the next five years

And just like that, we’ve officially moved from block two into block three. Win.

A few months ago, I had a phone call with another O2Xer who also happens to be a stage-three cancer survivor. I was explaining this whole “one day/block at a time” mindset to him, and he immediately co-signed it before tossing the O2X tagline “Optimize to the X” back at me in a completely different context.

I loved it instantly.

At O2X, we say “X” is the target. The thing you’re moving toward. Once you identify your X, the question becomes: what systems, habits, structures, mindset, and support help you get there? In other words, what do you need to optimize in order to get to your X?

Right now, my X is simply: the next block.

So the process becomes:
Live one day at a time in the current block.
Then, as that block starts winding down, begin optimizing for the next one.

During my mastectomy block, that meant focusing on recovery through physical therapy, nutrition, rest, and healing.

As the next block—chemo part one—approached, I began to optimize for chemo:
meeting with a dietitian, buying foods that would support treatment, stocking up on masks, Pepcid, moisturizers, anti-hair-thinning products, arranging care support, etc.

Then, chemo part one started winding down, which meant it was time to optimize for the current block: breast surgery part two.

So now the focus shifts again:

• rest aggressively.
• conditioning this chemo-rocked body so it’s ready for surgery.
• increase protein.
• get into nature.
• get my pre-op appointments scheduled.
• put all my medical stuff in a closet so I don’t have to look at it for a few weeks.
• execute the block in front of me.

Cool, huh?

I mean, it’s cool if you’re into human performance.

But honestly, it’s also the only way I know how to survive this psychologically.

Because if I start thinking too much about chemo part two right now, for example, I will absolutely lose my mind.

So, here we are: block three:

Breast surgery part two.

Time to execute, one day at a time.

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