Diagnosis / Treatment Update: “Optimize to the X”
I am officially done with my first set of chemo and, all things considered, I think it went well. Or… as well as chemo can go? As in: I survived…
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The Archive
~ Categories ~
FAQ: How Did You Tell People? (or, Leveraging Your Strengths in the Face of Trauma)
OK, so, “How did you tell people” isn’t a frequently asked question but it is one I was asked last week—and I realized it’s a really interesting, layered one. The…
The Incidents
I’m sitting at a two-top table at a Mexican restaurant in Charlottesville, Virginia with my co-worker Ben, housing chips and guac while he tells me the story of what happened…
Diagnosis / Treatment Update: Chemo Part One, by the Numbers
Yesterday, Tuesday, May 19th, 2026, was my last infusion day of this round of chemo and, because I am a bit of a data nerd, I thought it might be…
Things that are Weird: Part Seven
Looking forward to surgery because it feels like a fucking break. Having people you wouldn’t even have even really called a friend six months ago be some of the people…
Why Alli Has Cancer – Theory Four: Microplastics, the Covid Vaccine, and the Italian Mafia
Let me tell you: there’s nothing quite like discussing organized crime with your plastic surgeon while lying topless in an exam chair as she fills a very large syringe with…
Diagnosis / Treatment Update: Mental Health and Mindset
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – the mental side of this cancer thing is so much harder than the physical (and the physical is pretty freakin’…
Diagnosis / Treatment Update: Insurance and Surgeon Woes
Well. All good things must come to an end, I guess. Last Thursday I got notice that my insurance provider, Cigna, will not be participating in the Virginia Healthcare Marketplace…
The Kind of Small
I’m ten. Maybe eleven. I’m sitting at our family computer—a Macintosh SE. It has smiley faces and lives in our family room. I am attending to very important business. I…
Chemo Clean-Up, Aisle WTF
On my first day of chemotherapy, I was handed a “swag bag.” Inside: information about my pump—which, by the way, my brother aptly named Sir Spits A Lot, because it…
Diagnosis / Treatment Update: The Grind
Another round of chemo down. We’re officially in the back half… of Chemo Part One. My primary goal this week was to get a clearer sense of timelines from Dr.…
Why Alli Has Cancer – Theory Three: Acne? Long-Distance Running?
These two questions came from my colorectal oncologist, who I’ve referred to here as Dr. C but I’ll now call him by his full name: Dr. Cannon. I had scheduled…
Thank You, Amy
It’s 2:30am on Friday, January 23rd and I’m slumped up against the wall in my upstairs hallway, unable to fully sit up. I’m hooked up to an EKG machine. There…
Diagnosis / Treatment Update: Protein, Movement, Rest, Repeat.
No big updates this week, but here’s a collection of a few small things: Chemo Another round of chemo is in the books—third of six this cycle. Nausea was managed…
Have the Day You Have
Look, it’s not always comedically-placed “fucks” and poetry and PT wins over here. Many days–most days–are a huge battle with my mental health. Including today. And this one is dark.…
Things that are Weird: Part Six
Celebrating the one-year anniversary of moving into your townhouse and realizing that when you moved in, you already had at least one cancer—you just didn’t know it. Your friend talking…
Over or Under
Though it’s pitch black out and it’s been fifteen years since I’ve driven US Highway 158, my body remembers the rhythm of the road. Which is why, when I’m behind…
Diagnosis and Treatment Update: Nutrition, Boobs, and PT
Had some great progress this week that’s worth a share. Nutrition The transition off of the low-residue diet is going well! As I mentioned previously, the re-introduction of fiber-rich foods…
Why Alli Has Cancer—Theory Two: Her Dog
Look. Something goes wrong, blame the dog, right? This is my theory: my dog gave me cancer. Two cancers. Absurd! Here’s the thing about this sweet-looking old man: he spent…
Diagnosis / Treatment Update: Chemo Week Two (Win Some, Lose Some)
Greetings from another week of chemo ass-kicking. This time, we got the nausea under control. Incredible win. (It only took 10 billion meds—by which I mean four different kinds of…
Things That Are Weird: Part Five
Taking an unbelievable amount of prescription meds when you used to barely take Ibuprofen or cold meds in the Beforetimes. Your mom asking which chemo side effect you’re most afraid…
Nutrition, We Have a Problem
It’s 3:45am. I’ve been lying in bed, wide awake, for 30 minutes. All I can think about is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I cannot tell you the last…
FAQ: What Are You Working on in Physical Therapy?
TL;DR (because I love bodies and this post is going to get a little long and a little nerdy) Here’s what I’m working on in PT: Preventing frozen shoulder and…
Why Alli Has Cancer – Theory One: Bad Luck
“But you’re so young! Why you have a cancer problem?!” my nurse Kyoung asked as she hooked my port up to that day’s iron infusion. “I don’t know, Kyoung,” I…
Diagnosis / Treatment Update: Chemo Week One (Everyone Has a Plan)
I wasn’t sure how to start this one—until my brother reminded me of the classic Mike Tyson quote: Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face. And…
Things That Are Weird: Part Four
Going into a grocery store two days after you get your port placed – and for the first time since before your surgery – and thinking that absolutely everyone can…
My Unlikely Friend
My best friend asked me if I remembered coming out of anesthesia for my breast surgery. I do. I remember the nurses talking about travel. I started to cry. I…
FAQ: What Side Effects Do You Expect From Chemo? (Or: Let’s Talk About Drugs, Baby.)
A week and a half before my chemo began, I had a 90-minute one-on-one teaching session with a nurse practitioner named Jen from my colorectal oncologist’s office. First of all:…
Beforetimes: Job Interviews
My friend Micah was in town and came over last night. We were catching up on many things, including how f’ing hard it’s been to get a job in this…
Diagnosis / Treatment Update: March 8
TL;DR My rectal cancer symptoms increased significantly and are the worst they’ve ever been. I was able to get in to see my colorectal oncologist (Dr. C) this week for…
Things That Are Weird: Part Three
Opening your budget tracking sheet for the first time in six weeks and seeing a tab that says “DCIS Expenses” and it having a pretty short list of items, considering.…
Diagnosis / Treatment Update: March 1, 2026
This is my first one of these posts, so I’m going to backtrack a bit before circling back to the news I got last week. BEFORE LAST WEEK Breast Cancer…
FAQ: What Were Your Symptoms? or, How I Might Have Saved My Own Life
What were your symptoms? Breast Cancer None. The two areas of DCIS were discovered on a routine mammogram. The IDC was discovered on a standard-issue MRI I got post-diagnosis. Rectal…
boots on broadway
February 23, 2026 Fourteen days post-op — boots on broadway If you had told me one week ago that I would feel like this— energized, up early, making my own…
FAQ: Insurance
Do you have insurance? Are you on your ex-husband’s insurance? Yes, I have insurance. No, I’m not on my ex-husband’s insurance. When our divorce was finalized I had to secure…
Things That Are Weird: Part Two
My mom saying she doesn’t like to microwave things in plastic and me thinking, me too, but what the fuck does it matter because I got cancer anyway. I used…
FAQ: What surgery did you have? How many will you have?
What surgery did you have? On February 9, 2026 I had a single mastectomy on the left side and a mastopexy (lift) on the right side. Click here to read…
Things That Are Weird: Part One
Do I renew my yoga teaching insurance for the year? Will I teach this year? Looking at emails from before surgery. People moving to different states. Lives are moving forward? …
Post-Op Hell
Week One: Post-Op Hell I thought this would be the easy part. This is the part I thought I knew. Even though I’ve never done this before–never had surgery, or…
